ZeroAnd09

I had the strangest dream last night. It scared me and hurt me more than most anything that has occurred in my life. Through my work, I had become crippled. My back was broken and I could no longer walk. I was in need of a wheelchair, yet I never had one, I simply dragged my limp limbs behind me. In this dream's reality, my grandmother had passed away years ago and my father had taken care of her house. He had also passed on, and I was left the house in the will. This was a home I had grown up in and had many fond memories of, yet it felt like a tomb. My grandmother's three parrots still lived there, as did two kittens, one which was black and a calico who had also lost the use of his hind legs. Something had happened between Kim and I, we were no longer speaking, hence my moving to the house in Illinois. I was sitting, propped up against a tree in the front yard I had climbed hundreds of times, yet I would never ascend again. I was looking at a gray cloudy sky, and m...

It seems that everyone is in a downward spiral of emotion and spirit. I can't listen to the radio anymore, everything is too depressing and I can't understand half of it anyways. Why can't we find that peace so desperately needed? When did we slide into this mode of mourning ourselves and sulking life away? Maybe the Mayans were right, maybe the world will end in 2012, that should end all this pointless nonsense. Depression can serve a pupose, it can bring out the best in us, showing our true selves. It can inspire great works of art. It can make your realize the value of life. We're children whom wish for the dark but are undeserving of the gifts it can bring. We've lost sight of the light which grants that serenity so desperately need. There's too many broken and empty hearts out there, in need of love and guidance. It's time we made something of our lives. It's time to leave a legacy for our future to remember us by. This is a rallying cr...

I have no idea myself. It seems to have been one long crazy roller coaster ride. For those of you that check Blogger only and not my main site, there's been plenty of changes to my life. I have a new job and it is draining all of my energy and severly cutting into my updates. For those of you linking from The Loneliest page, thanks for stopping by, this is an archive of my older writings, not all of which are amazing, but more than enough are. I post randomly across three formats, my site, Blogger, and Myspace. I don't have a whole lot to say here, so take the hint and drop by zeroand09.com.

Original date: 11-1-2005 Staring in the mirror was a face Billy Bo Jenkins didn't recognize. It was buck toothed with a lazy eye and a tuft of red hair on top of an otherwise oily head. The lined face showed the stress and age of an old man, but this couldn't be...he was just a nine year old girl. Sure her mom was inbred, but they all said she'd dodged the bullet. She had all fifteen teeth and a third buttock just like a normal girl. Why old Jimmy had been after her since the day he laid those misshapen eyes on her.But none of that mattered now, she was a he. His uncle was really his mother and a terrible dresser at that. No one ever said puberty would be like this. What would he do for the ho down later this week? Even Jimmy wouldn't take him like this...(this is called dramatic build up)...what would Papa say? ...to be continued

Original date: 11-14-2005 Well, Billy Bo never made it to that square dance. On the way there she/he was picked up by some trucker that went by the handle of "Russell", poor thing was never heard from again. The town didn't think much of it, they were going to lynch the abomination next Tuesday after their Heaven's Gate meeting. Some things in this world just weren't right. I mean birthing a child with and arm growing out of its forehead is one thing, but changing sexes in one night? Not in their county.So I'm finally 21 and I'm not seeing what the commotion is all about. Just another year tacked on to something phenomenal but we're not sure why yet. But there is something about having a restaurant full of people singing to you that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. Like in the darkest of hearts there is a desire to be the center of attention, even if it's only 23 seconds long. Nothing really grand, but enough. I just wish they hadn...

Original date: 1-12-2006 Oh irony, what would I do without you? After waiting a gruesome two weeks for the proper parts (callipers and brake pads) on my car to come in, Stephen and I finally repaired it at 7pm last night. I decided to let him drive so he could determine if in fact our troubles were finally over. They were far from it. I followed him in my grandmother's car wanting nothing more than to be back home in my bed. The day had been beautiful and my good mood was growing by the minute as my car appeared to be finally fixed. Five miles out of town my heart sank as I saw the car backfire and sparks, then flames began to shoot from the tail end. I flashed the lights and honked the horn in a desperate attempt to get Stephen to pull over. In 30 seconds he was out of the car and running back to mine. I threw it in reverse as he called 911. Then we sat an agonizing 20 minutes waiting for the fire department to arrive and in the meantime watching his tools and my car tur...

Original date: 1-16-2006 Well a delightful Monday afternoon to all. This eve finds me in a delightfully nostalgic mood. Now I must find somewhere to go to celebrate this rare occasion. This weekend passed by with hardly any notice, ending up with me sitting around on my lazy bum. I have noticed though that the sky has been filled with amazing vanilla skies and dusks of lavaendar. The night is especially pleasing as well seeing how it is perfectly clear with a full orange moon. A few clouds hang overhead with a hazy backlight giving everything a dreamy feel. I would let myself slip in and out of consciousness to amplify the effect thus making it feel as though I was losing myself and not knowing where I was. Very surreal, I strongly suggest everyone give it a try. Somewhere spooky, that is where we shall go. But where still remains the larger question. There isn't much short of haunted cemetaries and Chicago. If only he was 21, we could visit the pool hall, there's u...