ZeroAnd09

Why I must destroy David Duchovny, I'm sorry for reading, and the balance has been restored! Opening Song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing Song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

I wrote a short story a couple of years ago for Christmas. You can get it on Amazon. Or, you can listen to me read it (badly) here. The Punishing Beast: amzn.to/2A5hsyb Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

The PS4 is here! Fucking in front of mirrors! Opening Song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing Song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

Why Black Friday shopping means you're the worst kind of person. Updating 10 year old tech. Yet more bitching about Star Wars. Opening Song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing Song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

Trials of Osiris. The Dawning. Content Drought. Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Write the show: eyesupguardianpodcast@gmail.com

Suicide! The Aquabats! Existential crisis! Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

The Headless Horseman was always one of my favorite classic monsters. So I found it fitting that he should be the art for October. I decided to make this first sketch available to everyone. But next month only patrons at the $20 level will get the art. I'm open to suggestions for the November sketch. Shoot a message to theunwashedasses@gmail.com and thank you for the support!

Christmas needs some boundaries! Modern art! Bizarre burial rituals. Opening song: Overwatch Halloween Theme Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

Messiphesto and Sapper Woody join in to talk about Destiny and TV shows. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

Dog shit! Bees! Zombies! Opening song: Overwatch Halloween Theme Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

It's not often that something like this catches my eye. But Kevin Smith recently conducted an interview with Megan Phelps-Roper. She is one of the daughters that left Westboro Baptist Church. The story she tells is profoundly moving. I highly recommend everyone listen to it. Link

The Podcast Awards results are in! Christian hunts dinosaurs! How to live with a ghost and more! Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

I got a request to write. So, I wrote. _________________________________________________________________________________ “Hey there, you sexy bitch!” “You can’t say that.” “Why not? I thought it always needed to start with an attention grabber.” “It does, but not like that. They asked for a story. It’s unlikely they’ll react kindly to being called a bitch right off the bat.”

Christian talks about inspiration, hard work, and the first time he ran over a headless horseman. Kevin Smith, Burn in Hell: vimeo.com/51171743 Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

Twitch gets an extension for viewing streamers' gear. Christian talks about leveling his second character. The Nine make their presence known. Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Write the show: eyesupguardianpodcast@gmail.com Game Informer Article: bit.ly/2jOcaiE My Name is Byf Video: bit.ly/2xqVXVo

Messi joins in a very special episode. The guys completely ditch the show notes and go on a magical adventure down memory lane. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

A week in, and what do we know? Watch Live: twitch.tv/zeroand09 Patreon: patreon.com/zeroand09 Write the Show: eyesupguardianpodcast@gmail.com

Christian rambles about decorating early, Dr. Car, and his love affair with Destiny 2 continues. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

Christian gets some goodies from Bungie, gets into the shader controversy, and gives his first impressions. Package Photos: i mgur.com/gallery/vMx7L Write the Show: eyesupguardianpodcast@gmail.com Watch live Thursdays @ 9am CST: twitch.tv/zeroand09 Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09

In the first scintillating episode, Christian condenses nearly all the news fit to be had about Destiny 2. Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Watch Live: www.twitch.tv/zeroand09

Christian talks protesters, annoying ring tones, and he breaks a sacred rule. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

What your house says about you. Can a Green Lantern conjure life? Game of Thrones and more in this episode! Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

How the fuck did Nazis become a thing again? Is Game of Thrones worth getting back into? All this and more in this episode. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

Mosquitos suck. So does Twitch. At least we have Destiny. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

TUA has moved to Monday nights! Christian recounts the history of Zero Lives, explains his love/hate relationship with the Flash, and more! Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

Christian continues to tease The Midnight Express, recounts his history with Final Fantasy, and spills the beans on Spider-Man: Homecoming. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Podcast Awards: www.podcastawards.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

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Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Podcast Awards: www.podcastawards.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

TUA is up for a podcast award! Christian also talks about expired cat food and Harry Potter. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Podcast Awards: www.podcastawards.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

Christian bitches...a lot. He also talks about depression, Warcraft, and breaks down the Call of Cthulu trailer. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

The War Chicken sees the end and glimpses into the future in this thrilling conclusion!

To gain favor with Reaver, the War Chicken must earn some favor with the citizens of Albion. Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09

Christian talks Cars 3, Father's Day, and spins an epic yarn about Tim, the drunk necromancer. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

It's a throwback to older formats as more OT has forced Christian into recording on the road. Night driving, E3, fantasy racism, and more in this episode! Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Twitter: @Unwashed_Asses Write the show: theunwashedasses@gmail.com

Recently took a trip to the Japanese gardens in Rockford. A shockingly good time.

The War Chicken returns! This episode has it all! Jail breaks! A tearful reunion! Romance!

Christian talks about being a fat fuck, why cyclists suck, and animal girls. Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

TweetDeck Publisher: Twitter Platform: PC, iOS Price: Free! So, this isn't really an app. Not in the traditional sense. There's no official app available in either the iOS or Android stores. Instead, there's only the website. But this website kicks all kinds of ass. Especially if you're the type of masochist that finds themselves managing multiple Twitter accounts. The idea of TweetDeck is to manage multiple Twitter accounts from one easy-to-use interface without the need for logging in and out of said accounts. So, in my case, I can track my personal account, a show account, and the network account. What's really nice is that I don't have to post a tweet from one account and then retweet it across the other two. Instead, I can check all three accounts and send the same tweet with one click.

The War Chicken is on vacation this week! In his stead, we bring your the adventures of Egon, Ray, Peter, Winston, and...the rookie? Patreon: http://patreon.com/zeroand09

The War Chicken battles in the Crucible, only to find himself imprisoned. Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/zeroand09

Christian is more than a little obsessed with Injustice 2. Apologies for the distraction. He also talks about Guardians 2, and why sweat pants are for lazy people. Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

Lucy's #7 Location: Beloit, WI Ingredients: Cheddar cheese, bacon, fried onions, BBQ sauce Alright kids, you know the drill by now. New restaurant equals a burger. Though, it kind of makes it super easy when the new place is known as a burger joint. Lucy's is not the kind of place that I would expect to find in Beloit, but then again, I'm not sure what is in Beloit. I've only traveled there for work meetings. So, when a farmer's market turns into a tasty burger, my attention is grabbed. Lucy's is a retro inspired, high class without the high price, burger joint. Complete with pin ups. It's kind of amazing.

The gang continues their march on ranked mode. Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/fridaynightsmite

Bluk Publisher: Pixel Ape Platform: Android, iOS Price: Free! Okay. So, I may have a problem. It seems that the large majority of games that catch my attention on the mobile platforms seem to revolve around simplistic pixel art. The game could play like an absolute wreck and I would be none the wiser, because I'm enamored with the pretty visuals. So, here, have another one. Bluk is easy enough to get into, but gets fairly difficult the further one gets into it. Using catapult physics, the objective is to hurl the little cube from tower to tower. Pull back with a finger to set the arc and strength, then release. If done correctly, the little cube will land delicately on top of the tower. Rinse and repeat until the end of the level. The music is soothing and easy to enter a trance as the levels fly by. As with any free-to-play game, there are items and abilities available for purchase. If you're a fan of pixel art and like puzzles, Bluk may be for you.

Can the gang find victory in Overwatch as they have in Smite? Yes, they totally can.

4.8 gets announced and the gang makes a splash in ranked. Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/fridaynightsmite

Baikoh Publisher: Mum Not Proud Platform: Android, iOS Price: Free! Word games. Insults. A simplistic theme. Tell me, Baikoh, were you created just for me? The premise is simple. Letter tiles fall from the top of the screen and will being to fill it up. Tap letters to spell words and clear the board. If the letter pile reaches the top of the screen, it's game over. But, if that were all there was, it would be pretty boring. And Baikoh is not boring. It likes to punish players who misspell. It's a game that actively wants the player to lose. Different hampering abilities and tiles will fall along with the letters, that can freeze the board, block progress, and otherwise make the player's life a living hell. To help the player along their journey, there are power ups to collect and use in each match, so it's not an entirely unfair fight. Not entirely. As with most of the apps I recommend, Baikoh is totally free. If you like word games, give it a whirl.

The War Chicken continues to dispense justice across all of Albion.

It's finally happened! Christian does the show live and it all doesn't burn down! Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09 Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

Offline Survival Manual Publisher: Iigi Platform: Android Price: Free! Let's face it. At some point in life, all of us have thought about the remote chance of being dumped in the middle of nowhere. Lost, alone, and left to fend for ourselves. What would you do? I certainly have no idea. I can only imagine there would be a lot of crying. Well, if you have an Android device, and adequate prep time, or hopefully a full battery, the Offline Survival Manual may be just the trick. This app is packed full of survival-y goodness. Things like building shelter, providing basic first aid, and even elements of psychology can be found within! Now, it may all be good, or it could ultimately lead to certain death. I'm not a survival expert. Either way, it provides an interesting read. And since it's free, what's there to lose? Certainly not your life, right?

The gang goes racing, talks patch 4.7, and Zero falls asleep. Patreon:  http://www.patreon.com/fridaynightsmite

Christian talks about the show, the time an old Asian man tried to take him home, and why deer suck. Patreon: www.patreon.com/ZeroAnd09 Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

The War Chicken is on the road again. This time he's breaking hearts and the local economy. Patreon: http://www.patreon.com/zeroand09

YouTube Kids Publisher: Google Platform: Android, iOS Price: Free! What did we do before the age of the Internet and television when it came to getting the kids out of our hair for a few hours? Was there ever a time when children played outside or ran off with friends to have adventures? Is it just me or are the little buggers born with touch-enabled devices attached to their little grabbers? Well, I suppose it doesn't much matter. It's the way of the future! Kids and tablets! Kids and phones! Kids and all the abhorrent things the Internet has to offer. I'll be the first to admit that my YouTube account curates some fairly screwy videos. As such, I wasn't inclined to let my toddler use it to watch videos of monster trucks, trains, and nursery rhymes. After all, who knows what will pop up on the auto play? On the flip side of that, going into YouTube without any account can be just as dangerous due to what is trending. As such, when it came time to binge watch

It's time to delve into a bit of nostalgia with Fable II.

4.7 has been announced! Ganesha has been revealed! 4.6 has been delayed again!

Christian gets far too religious by talking about the old gods. Patreon: www.patreon.com/ZeroAnd09 Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

I have never and will never play Tracer this well again.

Authentic Weather Publisher: House of van Schneider Platform: Android, iOS Price: Free! Since getting a smart phone, I've found the one thing I'm always on the hunt for is a decent weather app. I've tried so many that I've lost count and they all fall short in one way or another. Either they're too cluttered with information or they lack basic information or there are intrusive ads or the layout is just awful. It's too much. Just tell me the fucking weather and look good while you do it. Well, hello Authentic Weather. I didn't see you over there. AW is the most straight forward and sassy weather app I've had the pleasure of using. After finding your location, AW will give you a summary of the weather. As I write this, it says "It's fucking cloudy. You can look outside to get more information." It's very astute. Pulling down from the top gives a little more info about the forecast in addition to the temperature. It will displa

I played guest host on Luna Craft! Check it out!

I hate playing horror exploration games. It definitely shows in this play through. Fuck you, book guy! Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09

Christian talks musicals and video games. Patreon: www.patreon.com/ZeroAnd09 Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

Patch 4.5 and the Celestial Voyage hit console, the gang embarks on a few quests, and get a few good matches in. Patreon: patreon.com/fridaynightsmite

The Uprising event in Overwatch has gone live. I go over the new skins, emotes, and horde mode.

4.5 is delayed again! 4.6 has been announced! The gang gets schooled in Starcraft!

Hey there, stranger! Zero Lives has a new format on a new channel! Now, if only Ryse knew how to change it up every now and then.

Christian talks about dying phones, stealing donuts, Destiny 2, and what would happen if he had super powers. Patreon: www.patreon.com/ZeroAnd09 Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

The guys get to play Patch 4.4, talk what's coming in Patch 4.5, and play a brand new quiz!

Christian talks about Logan, learning another language, and some other shit. Patreon: www.patreon.com/ZeroAnd09 Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

Patch 4.3 has hit Smite. Join me as I cover the new capture the flag mode.

I had to create a label for Dapper Fools Brewery. I had the foresight to record it and speed it up.

Sapper is out for the evening. Mesi and Zero cover the news of 4.3, get play time with Kuzenbo, and talk capture the flag.

Christian talks about how he's finally realized fast food is destroying his life and why he's enthralled with a children's video on YouTube. Haunted House Monster Truck: www.youtube.com/user/thekydstv Patreon: www.patreon.com/ZeroAnd09 Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

I'm in a mood again. A mood I think can be made better by slaying vikings and samurai.

Retro Shooting Developer: Livezen Corp. Platform: Android, iOS Price: Free! Loyal readers will know that I'm terribly torn on mobile gaming. I greatly enjoy playing games, but there is such a distinct lack of quality games available for phones and tablets. If something becomes mildly popular, there are so many knock-offs and shovelware created, it creates bloat in the marketplace. For the most part, I've given up on mobile gaming. I'd much rather use my phone or tablet to be productive (crap, I think I'm turning into an adult). That being said, every now and then, a gem comes along.

Sapper Woody joins Christian to talk about streaming, Smite, and mental health. Sapper Woody:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWqoBnAgmamvd4iagTRic6g Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09

It's late! I'm sorry! Here it is! In this episode, Christian talks about man-pigs, Lego Batman, John Wick 2, and For Honor. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go Patreon: www.patreon.com/zeroand09

Can Sapper break his losing streak? Can the technical difficulties be overcome? Will this new channel thrive?

It's time to slay some vikings and samurai in the world's prettiest medieval combat sim.

Platform: Xbox 360, Xbox One Availability: 02/16/17 - 02/28/17 I love the smell of burning Wookiees in the morning.

Platform: Xbox One Availability: 02/16/17 - 03/15/17 I've played plenty of bad racing games, but Project Cars takes the cake.

SketchBook Developer: AutoDesk Platform: Android, iOS Price: Free! Art is very important to me, despite me being a terrible artist. I had talent and squandered it. I grew up wanting to draw comics for a living. But instead of actually studying and developing my skills, I stalled out. Fast forward 10 years and I'm still floundering. But now, I flounder for different reasons. The world has jumped to digital art and let me tell you, drawing with a tablet instead of pencil and paper is a dramatic disconnect.

Is it too late to enjoy a fighter that hasn't seen an update since 2012?

It's double XP! A new god has been announced! Can Mesi keep his trivia streak alive?

Imgur Developer: Platform: Android, iOS Price: Free! I don't know why I'm loathe to recommend this app. Maybe it's my own self-hatred for spending so much time on it. Time that I could spend being productive. Maybe it's that I don't want you falling into the same trap that I have. But odds are you're already ensnared with it or its half-brother, Reddit.

Games with Gold Availability: 01/16/2017 - 02/15/2017 Platform: Xbox One

Games with Gold Availability: 02/01/2017 - 02/15/2017 Platform: Xbox 360, Xbox One

Games with Gold Availability: 02/01/2017 - 02/28/2017 Platform: Xbox One

A new layout for the stream! A new quiz! All that and more!

Christian goes on a very personal journey on why he's a terrible human being. Also, why you should tip your driver and more! Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

Twitch Developer: Twitch Interactive, Inc. Platform: Android, iOS Price: Free! There's no denying the huge impact that Twitch has made in the lives of gamers. Everyone, from major tournaments to the 30 year old guy with cats can blast their gameplay out for all to see. But what good is streaming, if there's no one to watch? Don't you worry, baby birds. Twitch has your back.

Feeling the itch from withdrawal of Bloodborne, I delve back into Dark Souls. I meet a friend, we kill some bad guys, and we praise the sun.

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Do show titles even matter? Christian talks depression, the void, Smite, and cooking. Opening song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

Woody, Mesi, and Zero talk patch 4.1, engage in a friendly quiz, and fall back into old habits.

Tap Hero Developer: Applicatura Platform: Android, iOS Price: Free! I've expressed my disdain for idle clickers in the past. For the most part, they seem pointless to me. They're built to waste time, and like many mobile titles, lack any meaningful engagement. There is no progression, no sense of reward, and no real motivator to keep playing. Tap Hero tries to change that.

Overwatch has released their latest holiday event! Join me in exploring the latest mode, Capture the Rooster!

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Christian has been having an off week, hence the delay. In this make-up episode, we talk Taboo, 300, and Destiny 2. Opening Song: Young Men Dead, The Black Angels Closing Song: Disappearing Dark, Get Set Go

Light! Developer: Youzu Stars Platform: Android Price: Free! Relaxation is important. Being able to take a moment and let the world around you disappear while you collect your thoughts is critical. So much is demanded of us on a daily basis. From work to families to our entertainment itself. Many apps only reward daily diligence and demand players continually play to make any progress.

Platform: Xbox 360, Xbox One Availability: 01/16/2017 - 01/31/2017

It's been a rough week. Things don't improve as Christian gets his ass kicked in both Destiny and Overwatch.

Holy shit! We reach the epic conclusion and Twitch kills the audio again.

Portal 2 starts to overstay its welcome.