ZeroAnd09

Babies.  Babies are great.  Tiny human beings created from the collision of sweaty, frothy genitals.  They are the apple of our eyes, our pride and joy, and our sole biological reason for existing.  They are also our wardens on sanity and the new time keepers for sleep.  They constantly demand attention.  While humans as a whole are selfish beings, we’re never more demanding than when we’re infants.  “Feed me!  Pace the hall for hours until I fall asleep!  Figure out the puzzle of how my liquid shit has breached every seal of this diaper even though you swore it was nice and tight!  Repeat this process several times over with only a few hours of sleep!”

Of all the gods and goddesses battling in Smite , few seem as out of place as Aphrodite.  Emerging as a fully grown woman from the sea, Aphrodite was instantly desired be all.  To prevent the gods from  quarreling  over her affections, Zeus decreed that she marry the smith of the gods, Hephaestus.  The humorless, even tempered god known for his hideous appearance would not draw the ire of the others for possessing the rapturous Aphrodite.  However, this  didn't  prevent Aphrodite from seeking the affection of many gods and mortals alike.  More than any other, Aphrodite was responsible for the Trojan War due to her tampering with Paris’ affection for Helen. So why is a goddess renown for being a lover entering a war amongst the gods?  Apparently she’s keeping her allies alive through the power of love itself.  Unlike many of the others, Aphrodite’s abilities require pairing with another god for full effect.  She...

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